Neurodiverse children often experience the world in ways that are different from their peers. These differences can influence how they learn, communicate, and respond to their environment. Over time, repeated experiences of feeling misunderstood or struggling to meet expectations can affect a child’s confidence and sense of self.
Self-esteem develops through everyday interactions, relationships, and experiences. When a child regularly feels unsure of themselves or worries about getting things “wrong,” this can begin to shape how they see who they are. With the right understanding and support, however, children can develop a more compassionate and confident view of themselves.
How self-esteem can be affected
Children diagnosed with ADHD, dyslexia, autism, and other neurodivergent profiles often need to work harder to navigate everyday environments. When their needs are not always fully understood or met, despite best intentions and support, repeated challenges can gradually affect how confident a child feels, even when feedback is well-intended.
For example:
• An ADHD child may notice they are corrected more often for movement or inattention
• A dyslexic learner may compare themselves to peers when reading or writing feels harder
• An autistic child may feel unsure about social expectations or peer interactions
Over time, these experiences can lead people to form beliefs such as “I’m not good at this,” “I’m different,” or “I’m not good enough.” These beliefs are not signs of weakness. They are often a natural response to ongoing challenges.
How EMDR can support self-esteem
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing, known as EMDR, is an evidence-based therapy that helps the brain process experiences that still feel emotionally uncomfortable or overwhelming.
For neurodiverse children, EMDR can help with experiences that have affected their confidence, such as moments of embarrassment, feeling excluded, or repeated struggles that have stayed emotionally “stuck.” EMDR works by helping the brain reprocess these experiences so they feel less intense and no longer define how the child sees themselves.
During EMDR, the therapist supports the child to briefly focus on parts of a memory while using bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or tapping. This helps the brain make new connections and store the experience in a way that feels safer and more manageable.
What changes through EMDR?
As difficult experiences become less emotionally charged, children often begin to view themselves with greater understanding. Harsh self-beliefs may soften and be replaced with more balanced ones, such as “I learn differently and that’s okay” or “I can manage this with support.”
EMDR can also help children feel more emotionally resilient. Parents often notice improvements in confidence, emotional regulation, and a child’s ability to cope with challenges both at home and in learning environments.
A brief example
A dyslexic young person came to therapy believing they were not intelligent because reading had always been a struggle. Through EMDR, they were able to process memories of feeling embarrassed and discouraged. Over time, they began to understand that their brain simply needed a different kind of support, and that these difficulties were not a reflection of their intelligence or worth.
Supporting your child
Building self-esteem in neurodiverse children involves understanding their experiences and responding with curiosity, patience, and support. Therapeutic approaches such as EMDR can be one part of helping children develop confidence, self-compassion, and a stronger sense of who they are.
If your child is struggling with confidence or self-worth, speaking with a trained EMDR therapist can help you explore what support may be most helpful for them.
To meet with a professional psychologist or counsellor, call The Other Clinic at 8809 0659 or email us hello@theotherclinic.sg.
References:
Cai, Y., Holmes, J., Michelini, G., Gathercole, S. E., & Eley, T. C. (2025). Neurodevelopmental and psychosocial outcomes in adolescence of children with early diagnoses of ADHD, autism, dyscalculia and dyslexia. Research on Child and Adolescent Psychopathology, 53(December), 2099–2113. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10802-025-01377-z
Wilmot, A., Pizzey, H., Leitão, S., Hasking, P., & Boyes, M. (2023). Growing up with dyslexia: Child and parent perspectives on school struggles, self-esteem, and mental health. Dyslexia, 29(1), 40–54. https://doi.org/10.1002/dys.1729
Leuning, E. M., van den Berk-Smeekens, I., van Dongen-Boomsma, M., & Staal, W. G. (2023). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing in adolescents with autism: Efficacy on ASD symptoms and stress. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 14, Article 981975. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2023.981975