Will my child ever be independent? Will my child be financially independent? Will my child be able to live alone? How will my child survive after I die? Who will take care of him/her? Independence is a common worry for parents of children on the spectrum. Whilst every child differs depending on their level of functioning on the spectrum, these are the common worries of parents with children with ASD.
While a growing number of countries are recognising the demand for the work opportunities and residential complexes for ASD individuals, due to the high demand most ASD individuals are still staying at home with their parents after finishing their studies. This structural difficulty bears burden on the caregiver both emotionally and physically. Then how can we as parents support our children to become more independent?
- Start from a young age.
Whether it be simply making their beds in the morning or putting their utensils on the table before a meal, don’t wait till they reach a certain age for them to learn household self care skills. A lot of children with ASD have impaired fine motor skills which impact their ability to use their fingers and hands. This impacts their eating, brushing teeth, buttoning and lacing shoe laces. In an environment where helpers are around, this makes it even more difficult for them to learn as we have readily available caregivers who would continue to do these chores for them. So make sure your child gets as much opportunity at home to do their own self-care, even if it means caregivers need that extra patience to wait for them.
- Find strategies to over come their executive functioning skills.
Many ASD individuals struggle with organization, planning, and decision making which affects their ability to manage daily tasks. Teach strategies like visual schedules, reminders, and step by step structured routines to help them manage daily tasks such as cooking, cleaning, and scheduling. This can also apply to learning money skills. Have visuals to help them learn how to calculate paying money and receiving change.
- Teach community safety skills.
Teach and practice pedestrian crossings, identifying traffic signs and other important safety markers, becoming familiar with public transportation. Also consider having them carry an ID card with helpful information such as their name, diagnosis and emergency contact person. If possible, let your child learn how to use the mobile phone to call someone when they are in emergency situation.
- Beware of ways to handle their sensory sensitivities.
When ASD individuals are overwhelmed by sensory stimuli, they often find it difficult to navigate environments like public transportation or outdoors in general. A simple thunder and lightning could completely shut down their ability to function for a while. Find ways to develop a coping mechanism for your ASD individual whether it be noise cancelling headphones or taking sensory breaks or just letting them learn to check the weather before going out to avoid such situations that stimulate and overwhelm them. Also teach them how to ask for help when needed in these situations.
- Communication.
Every ASD individual has different communication skills. Some use verbal speech, while others rely on Alternative and Augmentative Communication, Sign language or writing. Having access to these communication tools can enhance their independence.
- Consider a Special Need’s Trust.
Exploring financial tools like a Special Needs Trust which can ensure your child’s long term care even after you are not around is an option. A trust can help protect their financial future without having to depend on another individual to take care of your child’s financial needs.
- Trust your ASD individual that they will do well.
A lot of the times, parents, caregivers and guardians of ASD individuals have heightened anxiety about their ASD individual being able to go about life independently which actually hinders them from trying more. Just like with any other child, trust that in time, with more repetition and practice your ASD child will be able to improve more and more in independence.
To meet with a professional psychologist or counsellor, call The Other Clinic at 8809 0659 or email us hello@theotherclinic.sg.
References
Emily Mulligan. Ten ways to build Independence. Autism Speaks Org.
Karen Kaplan (Feb, 2025). Will my autistic Child be Independent?
Maria Vella, Kate Foley (Oct, 2024). Strategies for autistic adults to achieve greater independence and well-being. Autism Spectrum News.
Centre on transition innovations, Virginia commonwealth University.