Self-esteem can be described as a person’s belief about their abilities and value in the world. (1) Your self-esteem is intimately linked to your sense of self confidence and self-worth. Considering that a low self-esteem may impact negatively on our mental health, affect our relationships and determine the strength of our resilience – it is essential that we help our children foster a strong sense of self-esteem. (2)
What are some signs of poor self-esteem in children? Should you notice some of the following signs in your child or teen, it may reveal that they have a low self-esteem (3)
- Struggle to regulate emotionally and experience outbursts of frustration or anger
- Be sensitive as to others opinions of them or their abilities
- Have a fear of failure that leads to them not willing to try anything new or potentially challenging
- Engage in negative self-talk, and make hyper critical remarks to themselves such as “I can never do anything right”, “No one likes me” etc.
- Have difficulty in receiving feedback or praise
- Start withdrawing socially and perhaps experiencing a decline in grades and / or enjoyment of extracurricular activities
As parents, we have the capacity to influence and build our children’s self-esteem by modelling positive language and behaviours. (4) (5) (6)
– Concentrate on their strengths and create opportunities for them to exercise and further develop these skills. This is a powerful strategy to uplift their sense of selves and positively improve behaviour
– Acknowledge their efforts vs. focusing only on the outcome / end result. Praising their progress and attitude serves as an important reminder to them that they can work towards their goals by applying themselves to the task
– Implement household chores and encourage your child to take on responsibility in the home. This can indicate to your child that you trust in them and believe in their abilities to make a positive contribution in the home
– Encourage your child to try new things. Creating opportunities for your child to try different things helps foster an understanding that they are capable of doing a wide variety of activities
– Teach them to learn from their mistakes and not to dwell on them. As parents, it’s important (and not always easy!) to not get upset by their mistakes. Teach them that having a fear of failure can be an obstacle to success
– Finally, show them unconditional love. Your child needs to know that they are deeply loved, no matter what the circumstances. A child who feels secure in their parents love is incredibly powerful; their sense of self-worth remains strong, even during difficult times
To meet with a professional psychologist or counsellor, call The Other Clinic at 8809 0659 or email us hello@theotherclinic.sg.
References:
1. Cambridge Dictionary – https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/self-esteem
2. Healthdirect – Self-Esteem and mental health
3. Healthychildren.org – Signs of Low Self-Esteem in Children & Teens
4. KidsHealth – 9 Ways to Boost Your Child’s Self-Esteem
5. Raisingchildren.net.au – Self-esteem in children: 1-8 years
6. Child Mind Institute – 12 Tips for Raising Confident Kids