“Self-care” is a bit of a buzzword that we often hear, but have you ever stopped to think about what it really is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important? It’s not uncommon to see a picture on social media of someone having a spa day or on a holiday with #selfcare in the caption. While these activities certainly can be a part of self-care, they are not the entirety of this important aspect of well-being.
So what is self-care? There are a number of definitions that can help guide us, but in reality the definition and how it is implemented will look different for different people and that’s ok! One broad definition offered by the American National Institute of Mental Health defines self-care as “…taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health” (NIMH, 2022). It can be helpful to think of different types of self-care (Haddock and Falkner, 2017).
Consider the following categories of self-care:
Physical Self Care: This type of self-care involves looking after one’s physical health. This includes exercising regularly, eating a balanced diet, going to the doctor, and resting when sick.
Emotional Self Care: We all have emotions, and no emotion is a bad emotion. Emotional self-care involves having awareness of our emotional state and how it is impacting us and then implementing coping and self-care strategies to help achieve emotional regulation. This could include journaling, talking to a friend, going to counselling, among other activities.
Relational Self Care: As a human being, we all need connection with others. Making time to connect with loved ones is vital to our overall well-being. Some of us may enjoy more “social time” than others and balancing time with friends and time to recharge is a type of self-care.
Some people may have other categories too, like spiritual self-care. In reality, all of these categories impact each other. Physical self-care like exercise can also aid in emotional regulation. Spending time with those we love (relationship self-care) can help ward off loneliness and depression, thus also supporting our emotional self-care (Erzen and Cikrikci, 2018).
Overarching all of these categories, however, is self-awareness of your needs and what brings you joy. For example, you have a need for exercise but running may feel terrible. Try swimming, walking, weightlifting, cycling, yoga or one of the many types of movements out there! For visual learners, the below might be a way to see how these different types of self-care work together and how self-awareness is the overarching key.
Self-care encompasses a wide range of activities and strategies, but it’s also helpful to know what self-care isn’t, or doesn’t have to be:
Expensive: Self-care does not have to empty your wallet. Going for a walk, chatting with a friend, or writing in a journal are all great self-care activities that are free or low cost.
The same for everybody: Some people really enjoy going for a manicure and pedicure and find it relaxing. Mani-pedis rarely feel soothing for me. Finding what works for you is important! And keep in mind what worked for you when you were twenty may not work for you in your forties.
Always fun or enjoyable in the moment: I personally don’t really enjoy going to the doctor, but I do enjoy feeling better and taking care of my physical health for long term well-being. Some parts of self-care might not always be fun at the time, but they have long term benefits. I’d also prefer to skip eating vegetables, but I know that I’ll feel ten times better having had a balanced meal as opposed to a cookie for lunch.
Why is self-care important?
This one is surprisingly easy. Self-care is important first and foremost because you are worth it and your needs matter. We all have needs and emotions. It is not selfish to tend to those needs and create space for emotional regulation. Actually, tending to our own needs and emotions in a healthy way means that while others can support us, they do not have to meet all of our needs for us. There’s a difference. Of course, we ALL have times when we need more support from others, and sometimes things happen (like illnesses) that are outside our control and we do need others to help us with our needs, but having good self-care, in general, can foster interdependence as opposed to dependance on others.
Self-care is so much more than a hashtag and it is certainly not always Instagram picture perfect, but it is an important part of sustaining one’s overall well-being. I like to think of it as a rhythm that is embedded in my values and lifestyle. If I don’t eat a healthy meal for dinner one night, that’s ok, I’ll balance it out with something healthier the next day. If I don’t make that workout class, I don’t beat myself up about it. A holistic understanding of self-care recognizes that we are a human with needs. Meeting those needs through healthy self-care activities is a great way to have a positive impact on your overall well-being.
To meet with a professional psychologist or counsellor, call The Other Clinic at 8809 0659 or email us hello@theotherclinic.sg.
References:
Erzen, E., & Çikrikci, Ö. (2018). The effect of loneliness on depression: A meta-analysis. International Journal of Social Psychiatry, 64(5), 427–435. https://doi-org.ulm.idm.oclc.org/10.1177/0020764018776349
Haddock, L. R., & Falkner, J. (2017). Self-Care and Self-Growth. In D. C. a. D. R. Gross (Ed.), Introduction to the Counseling Profession (pp. 94-116). New York, NY: Routledge.
National Institute for Mental Health. (2022). Caring for Your Mental Health.
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health