Understanding Gender Identity and Pronouns in Singapore: Why They Matter

Conversations about gender identity and pronouns have become more visible globally, but in Singapore – where conservative cultural norms and family-centered values are strong – discussing these topics can still feel challenging. At its core, the conversation is about respect: recognizing that everyone deserves to be addressed in a way that affirms who they are.

What Is Gender Identity?

Gender identity is a person’s deeply felt sense of their own gender. For many, this aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth (cisgender). For others, gender identity may differ, and they may identify as transgender, non-binary, genderqueer, or use other terms that reflect their experience (American Psychological Association, 2015).

It is important to distinguish gender identity from sexual orientation. Sexual orientation describes who someone is attracted to, while gender identity describes who someone is.

In Singapore, societal norms influenced by Asian values – such as filial piety, social conformity, and maintaining family harmony – can make it more difficult for youth and adults to express non-cisgender identities openly (Toh et al., 2023). For some, staying closeted may feel necessary to avoid conflict or preserve family reputation.

The Role of Pronouns

Pronouns are words used to refer to someone without using their name, such as “he,” “she,” or “they.” Using correct pronouns is a key way to acknowledge and validate someone’s gender identity. Misusing pronouns, whether intentional or accidental, can be experienced as invalidating and harmful (GLAAD, 2021).

In English, pronouns are gendered, which makes them an important part of identity. However, in some Asian languages commonly spoken in Singapore, pronouns function differently. In Mandarin, spoken pronouns like tā (他/她) are pronounced the same regardless of gender and only differ in written form. In Malay, the pronoun dia is already gender-neutral, and distinctions are usually made only if necessary for clarity. Tamil, however, uses gendered pronouns more explicitly (avan for he, avaḷ for she). Because of these linguistic differences, some people in Singapore may not pay as much attention to gender distinctions in everyday speech. While this can sometimes reduce emphasis on gender in casual interactions, it also means that introducing gender-inclusive practices in English-speaking contexts may require additional awareness and cultural sensitivity.

Common pronouns include:

• She/her – often used by women and some non-binary people.
  
• He/him – often used by men and some non-binary people.
  
• They/them – used by many non-binary people or those who prefer a gender-neutral option.
  
• Other pronouns – some people may use pronouns like ze/zir or combinations (e.g., she/they).
  

The key is not to assume. Asking politely or sharing your own pronouns first can create a safe space for conversation.

Why Pronouns Matter

Affirming someone’s identity by using their correct pronouns has significant mental health benefits. Respecting pronouns has been linked to lower rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation among LGBTQIA+ youth (The Trevor Project, 2019). In Singapore, LGBTQIA+ youth often navigate family and societal pressures, making affirmation in schools, workplaces, and peer groups particularly vital (Toh et al., 2023).

Using correct pronouns is a small action with a meaningful impact: it tells someone that they are seen, valid, and worthy of respect.

Navigating Mistakes

Everyone slips up. If you use the wrong pronoun, the best response is to acknowledge it briefly, correct yourself, and move on. Over-apologizing can make the person feel uncomfortable; consistency and genuine effort are most important.

Practical Guide: How to Ask Pronouns Safely

Creating inclusive spaces in Singapore, whether at school, work, or in social groups, requires practical strategies:

1. Lead by example: Introduce yourself with your pronouns.
   
   • Example: “Hi, I’m Alex, and my pronouns are they/them.”
     
2. Invite, don’t pressure: Encourage others to share pronouns but don’t demand disclosure.
   
   • Example: “Would you like to share your pronouns?”
     
3. Use gender-neutral language until confirmed: Avoid assumptions based on appearance or name.
   
   • Example: Use “they” or “this person” instead of “he/she” when uncertain.
     
4. Normalize pronouns in official contexts: Include pronouns in email signatures, staff directories, and meeting introductions.
   
5. Respect privacy and safety: Recognize that some individuals may not feel safe disclosing pronouns, especially in conservative family or workplace settings. Affirmation does not require disclosure.
   

By following these steps, schools and workplaces can model respect, build awareness, and reduce the mental health risks associated with misgendering.

Conversations about gender identity and pronouns are ultimately about respect and affirmation. In Singapore, these discussions are shaped not only by conservative social norms and Asian family values but also by the country’s multilingual environment. While English emphasizes gender distinctions in pronouns, languages like Mandarin and Malay rely on neutral or less gendered forms, offering everyday examples of how communication can flow without constant reference to gender. This linguistic diversity can serve as a reminder that respecting identity is not about rigid categories, but about openness and choice. By practicing awareness, schools, workplaces, and communities in Singapore can move toward a culture where everyone – regardless of gender identity – feels seen, valued, and included.

Local Resources in Singapore

For LGBTQIA+ individuals and allies seeking support, there are several local organizations:

• Oogachaga – Offers counselling, support groups, and resources for LGBTQIA+ individuals (oogachaga.com).
  
• The T Project – Singapore’s shelter and support services for transgender individuals (thetprojectsg.org).
  
• Pink Dot SG – A community movement promoting inclusivity and support for LGBTQIA+ people (pinkdot.sg).
  
• Sayoni – Advocates for queer women and non-binary individuals in Singapore, providing safe spaces and community support (sayoni.com).
  
• Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) – 24/7 crisis hotline for anyone experiencing emotional distress or suicidal thoughts (+65 1767, sos.org.sg).
  

To meet with a professional psychologist or counsellor, call The Other Clinic at 8809 0659 or email us hello@theotherclinic.sg.

References

American Psychological Association. (2015). Guidelines for psychological practice with

transgender and gender nonconforming people.

GLAAD. (2021). Tips for Allies: Understanding Pronouns.

The Trevor Project. (2019). National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health.

Toh, M. P., Choo, W. C., Tan, J. W., & Lim, L. (2023). Mental health and discrimination among LGBTQ individuals in Singapore. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 20(2), 627–645.