Bringing a child into the world is a monumental transition, not just physically and financially, but emotionally and psychologically. This period, often described as matrescence – the process of becoming a mother – is akin to adolescence, involving profound changes in identity, hormones, and relationships. Unlike puberty, it is much less researched and more commonly misunderstood. In fact, the concept itself was first coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael in 1973 and only been recently added into the Cambridge Dictionary. Understanding and managing the emotional complexities of this journey is crucial for a mother’s well-being and the healthy development of her child.
Postnatal emotions range from transient “baby blues” to more serious conditions such as postpartum depression (PPD) and anxiety disorders. Approximately 50-80% of new mothers experience baby blues, including symptoms of mood swings, irritability, and tearfulness within the first two weeks post birth. When these symptoms persist, they can then signal a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder (PMAD), which affects about one in seven women. Factors contributing to PMAD include hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, personal or family history of mental health conditions, and social stressors such as a lack of support or financial strain (CHOP, 2024). In sum, it is an emotionally tender and vulnerable period, by nature of biophysical changes these women are experiencing.
Additionally, matrescence brings a redefinition of identity and relationships. Many women grapple with the paradox of joy and loss – the excitement of motherhood and a new baby, then juxtaposed with a mourning of pre-parenthood freedom and independence. This duality can stir feelings of guilt or inadequacy (Wisner et al., 2022), further compounding on the biophysical changes.
During this difficult period, below are some approaches for managing postnatal emotions and the challenges of matrescence:
1. Naming it and normalizing the experience
Understanding that matrescence is a profound and universal transition for most mothers can help alleviate self-criticism. Many mothers feel isolated in their struggles, and the helplessness can amplify stress. By acknowledging that this emotion exists, this can help mums to feel more seen and validated. Practically, group therapy or support chat groups can empower mothers to share experiences and build connections, fostering a sense of community (Nylen et al., 2023).
2. Recognizing symptoms early
Differentiating between baby blues and PMAD is critical. While baby blues resolve naturally within a few weeks, persistent symptoms – such as extreme sadness, anxiety, or intrusive thoughts – require professional attention. Early recognition and intervention can prevent long-term consequences for both mother and child (CHOP, 2024).
3. Incorporating techniques to foster bonding with baby
Research highlights the importance of addressing not just maternal symptoms, but also the mother-infant attachment and familial dynamics. Therapeutic approaches that prioritise this triad have demonstrated improvements in maternal sensitivity, child development outcomes, and spousal relationships. For example, programs integrating doula home visits with mother-infant therapy sessions have been shown to enhance attachment and reduce parenting stress (Heinicke et al., 2022).
4. Trying evidence-based treatments and psychoeducation
Psychotherapy, particularly interpersonal therapy (IPT) and cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), is highly effective for PMAD. These therapies focus on building coping skills, addressing relationship challenges, and reframing negative thought patterns. In severe cases, medication may be necessary, but it is important to discuss breastfeeding safety and potential risks with healthcare providers (Wisner et al., 2022). Therapy can also help mothers redefine their identity, balancing the demands of caregiving with personal aspirations. Incorporating mindfulness practices, expressive writing, or art therapy can further support emotional processing and self-discovery.
5. Prioritise self care and support systems
Sleep deprivation, poor nutrition, and lack of personal time exacerbate emotional distress, which makes the first months for new mums physically challenging to adapt to. Encouraging mothers to prioritise restorative sleep, balanced meals, and short personal time-outs can significantly improve resilience, which in turn will create more emotional stability for children and spouses. Moreover, cultivating a strong support network of family, friends and postpartum doulas can solidify emotional and practical assistance, reducing the sense of isolation (Harvard Public Health, 2023).
If overlooked, untreated postnatal emotional challenges can create far-reaching consequences. Maternal mental health strongly influences a child’s development, where children of mothers with PPD are at higher risk for cognitive delays, emotional dysregulation, and insecure attachments. Addressing maternal mental health early can break this intergenerational cycle and foster healthier family relationships (Nylen et al., 2023).
In conclusion, matrescence is a transformative journey that deserves validation, understanding, and support. By recognizing the emotional complexities of this transition and utilising therapeutic strategies, mothers can navigate postnatal challenges with greater resilience and confidence. You are not alone!
To meet with a professional psychologist or counsellor, call The Other Clinic at 8809 0659 or email us hello@theotherclinic.sg.
References:
CHOP. (2024). Perinatal or Postpartum Mood and Anxiety Disorders. Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.
Nylen, Moran, Franklin, & O’Hara. (2023). Relationship-Based Interventions for Maternal Mental Health.
Wisner, Chambers, & Sit. (2022). Treatment Modalities for Postpartum Depression.
Harvard Public Health. (2023). Maternal Mental Health: Challenges and Interventions.