Motherhood involves nurturing, caring, and raising a child. It encompasses various roles, emotions, and responsibilities that differ among individuals and cultures.
Every year, in May, we celebrate Mother’s Day. The idea was inspired by Mrs. Ann Reeves Jarvis, a mother of 13 children, who dreamed of a day to honour and celebrate the hard work that mothers do to improve the lives of others. Her daughter Anna made it a reality, and the slogan for the celebration was “For the Best Mother who Ever Lived – Your Mother.” Anna created the day to honor her mother, Ann, and it gradually spread around the world over the years as a beloved tradition.
Today, Mother’s Day is widely celebrated around the world, including Singapore.
Even though days like Mother’s Day are meant to be positive, it’s sadly true that some individuals might feel excluded or left out during these kinds of collective celebrations.
When communities come together to celebrate events like Mother’s Day, there can be a range of emotions experienced by those who might not fit the traditional narrative of the celebration.
For instance, individuals who have lost their mothers or who have strained relationships with their mothers might find Mother’s Day emotionally challenging. Similarly, those who desire to be mothers but cannot, individuals with complicated family dynamics, or even single fathers who take on the role of both parents might feel excluded from the traditional narrative of Mother’s Day.
Acknowledging these feelings of exclusion is essential. It’s a reminder that while celebrations are meant to honour and appreciate, they can unintentionally bring feelings of isolation for some. Creating a more inclusive environment during these celebrations involves recognizing and validating diverse experiences.
Efforts to make collective celebrations more inclusive could include:
1. Acknowledgment and Sensitivity: Recognize that not everyone’s experience aligns with the traditional narrative of the celebration. By acknowledging this diversity of experiences, we validate the feelings of those who might feel left out.
2. Inclusive Language and Gestures: When celebrating, it’s important to use inclusive language and gestures that encompass various types of relationships, such as celebrating caregivers, mentors, or chosen family, to make everyone feel included.
3. Creating Space for All Narratives: Creating spaces for sharing stories of loss, struggle, or alternative experiences fosters empathy and understanding within communities.
4. Encouraging Supportive Acts: Encouraging individuals to reach out to those who feel left out can make a significant difference, whether through a simple gesture of compassion, a thoughtful message, or an invitation to join an inclusive activity.
As a clinical psychologist, I frequently encounter situations where celebrations can become complicated for different people. Therefore, I care about creating an environment where everyone feels appreciated and part of the group, both during and outside therapy sessions. I hope we can all come together and celebrate our differences and unique stories while still being part of a collective celebration.
- Written by Lisa Lund, Clinical Psychologist, The Other Clinic
To meet with a professional psychologist or counsellor, call The Other Clinic at 8809 0659 or email us hello@theotherclinic.sg.
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