In my work as a clinical psychologist, I have met many clients who keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves and live their lives without anyone knowing how much pain and suffering they are in. There is still much stigma around speaking to family and friends about mental health, whether it is because of shame or lack of understanding or difficulties in asking for help. This can seem exacerbated in a busy city culture such as in Singapore where productivity and outcomes are prioritised over wellbeing.
Due to the challenges in one’s life, thinking about suicide as a form of escape can be common for those struggling with their mental health. In 2023, Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) reported a total of 322 suicide deaths, where suicide continued to be the leading cause of death amongst young people (10 – 29 years old). While there are many agencies and organizations within Singapore which provide services to tackle suicide prevention (see below), tackling suicide prevention is also about establishing a culture of being able to speak about one’s mental health struggles openly and for mental health issues to not seem “taboo”. Anyone can contribute to this by showing small acts of kindness to people around them. Here are a few suggestions:
Checking in with loved ones
• When you’re spending time with your loved ones, usually we focus on speaking about events or situations that happened. But take a pause sometimes to ask how they are doing and coping with their stressors to give them a chance to share about something that has been on their mind.
Listening well
• Good listening takes some skill and practice – the most important part is to be non-judgmental and show that you are giving them the space to speak and that you hear their struggles. This means avoid offering solutions and instead validate how they are feeling (e.g., “That must have been really hard for you”).
Being open to share your own struggles
• Taking the lead and sharing what you are having difficulty in can speak volumes because you are indirectly telling your loved ones that it is alright to talk about your struggles. This starts the conversation although they may not immediately respond but it indicates to them you are open about speaking about mental health difficulties.
Assuring loved ones they can reach out
• Not everyone feels ready to talk about their difficulties when you check in with them so sometimes it is about letting your loved ones know that they can reach out to you when they feel ready or want to talk or want help reaching out to a professional. This helps them in knowing they have options in who to reach out to when they are struggling.
Being a silent supporter
• Not everyone feels comfortable and emotionally available to be a listener to their loved ones which is also valid and you may also be struggling with your own issues. If you feel able to, you could offer support in other ways such as engaging in activities together or offering to accompany them to their first appointment with a mental health professional.
Recognise signs of possible suicide risk
• It’s important to recognize possible signs that suggest suicide risk (including but not limited to):
o Unusual changes in behaviour or mood (e.g., more cheerful or low than usual without an explanation)
o Donating and giving away personal belongings and possessions
o Withdrawing from activities and isolating self from social interactions
o Speaking about hopelessness of life and feeling like a burden
• If you see a loved one exhibiting these possible signs, speak to them gently in a warm and open manner and encourage them to seek professional help.
Helpful Helplines and Resources in Singapore:
• Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) Helpline: 1800-221-4444
• Institute of Mental Health (IMH) Helpline: 6389-2222
• National Care Hotline: 1800-202-6868
• AWARE (Association of Women for Action and Research) Helpline: 1800-774-5935
• Tinkle Friend (for children and adolescents): 1800-274-4788
To meet with a professional psychologist or counsellor, call The Other Clinic at 8809 0659 or email us hello@theotherclinic.sg.
References:
SUICIDE NUMBERS DECLINE IN SINGAPORE, BUT VIGILANCE MUST CONTINUE – Samaritans of Singapore (SOS). (2024, July 12). Samaritans of Singapore (SOS). https://www.sos.org.sg/pressroom/suicide-numbers-decline-in-singapore-but-vigilance-must-continue/