One of the most heartfelt yet often forgotten forms of grief is sibling bereavement. The death of a brother or sister signifies not just the loss of a family member but also the departure of someone who has been there for us all through our lives. They are the ones who were by our sides through our childhood, hold the keys to our most treasured memories, and often remain our lifelong companions.
Why is Sibling grief so unique?
Siblings are more than just family members, they are our first friend, our earliest rivals, and lifelong companions. From the moment we are born, whether the relationship is close or complicated, our siblings share our joys and sorrow, and they shape who we become today. They are the ones who remember our childhood laughter, family traditions, and most cherished memories. They understand us in a way that few others can. Losing a sibling isn’t just about losing a piece of our past. It is about losing a part of ourselves and the future experiences we could’ve had together.
As we journey through life, our siblings continue to be a constant source of comfort and support (Stocker, 2020). Especially as we grow older, their presence becomes even more treasurable. They grow into significant pillars of support, both practically and emotionally (D’Alton et al., 2022; Fujita et al., 2025). Losing them leaves a deep void in our hearts that affects our sense of security and the support systems we rely on, making their passing even more devastating.
Complicated relationships
There is no one right way to grieve the loss of a sibling. Everybody’s experiences are different, depending on factors such as the closeness of the relationship, the circumstances of death, and the individual’s personality and coping mechanisms. Some may hide their own sadness to be strong for their parents and/or other family members. Complicated relationships can lead to feelings of guilt, sadness, and regret, especially if the relationship was strained or never what you hope it would be (D’Alton et al., 2022).
Challenges Facing Grieving Siblings
- Overlooked Grief: Sibling Loss frequently gets less attention. Sibling who are grieving may believe that their suffering is unimportant while other concentrate on helping their parents or spouses (Fujita et al., 2025; Gilvin, 2018).
- Loss of a Constant: Since siblings are often the only people who know us throughout our entire lives, losing them seems like losing a part of ourselves (Fujita et al., 2025, Howard et al., 2018).
- Parental Reactions: Surviving siblings may experience guilt or resentment because of parents’ grief. Parents might become overprotective, limiting the experiences of remaining siblings (Fujita et al., 2025).
- Social Isolation: Young siblings may feel isolated especially if they are one of the few in their social group to go through such a loss. They may feel alone and maybe even bullying (The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, 2009).
How to cope with sibling Grief?
- Acknowledge your grief: Recognise that your emotions are real and deserving of attention. Let yourself experience the feelings that come up without passing judgement (Siblings Canada, 2024).
- Seek Support: Have open conversations with loved ones, friends, or mental health professionals. Support groups can provide a safe setting for sharing experiences (Howard et al., 2018).
- Self-care: Keep a balanced lifestyle by eating well, exercising frequently, and getting enough sleep. Take part in enjoyable and relaxing activities (The Loss Foundation, 2023).
- Remember your sibling: Make a remembrance box or take part in events that pay tribute to your sibling’s memory. This can help with the healing process (The Loss Foundation, 2023).
Impact of Sibling Grief on children
Similarly, sibling grief can be challenging to navigate in children. Sibling grief often leads to feelings of sadness, loneliness, and guilt. It can influence children’s social, psychological, and emotional growth. It is crucial that parents and caregivers provide support to help children cope with these emotions (D’Alton et al., 2022; Fujita et al., 2025).
Long-term effects:
Sibling loss can have consequences that last into adulthood:
- Emotional Resilience: Over time, some kids may grow more emotionally resilient and capable of handling stress (Howard et al., 2018).
- Identify Formation: Children’s self-perfection and their position within the family may be impacted by the loss (Flesner, 2015).
- Social support: As they grow older, children could depend more on friends or other family members for support. Low parental support can be mitigated by non-parental support networks like classmates and teachers, which can aid in growth and assist siblings deal with loss (Howard et al., 2018).
Support for Grieving Children
Giving children the right kind of support is essential to assisting them in coping with their loss:
- Open Communication: Encourage children to ask questions about death and to express their thoughts through open communication (Schonfeld, 2024).
- Consistency and Routine: Ensure that children’s routine is consistent to give them a sense of security and control (American Psychological Association, 2022)
- Professional help: If children show signs of severe or ongoing suffering, seek professional counselling (Schonfeld, 2024).
- Story book packages: Create tools that can assist grieving children in managing their feelings and adjusting to the loss (The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, 2009).
The loss of a sibling can be a transformative experience, though it is often overlooked. Despite the overwhelming pain and challenges that come with it, many find ways to heal and become stronger, promoting resilience and personal growth. The journey through navigating grief with the right support and recognition can allow people to find a new sense of purpose and meaning in life. (D’Alton et al., 2022).
To meet with a professional psychologist or counsellor, call The Other Clinic at 8809 0659 or email us hello@theotherclinic.sg.
Citation:
American Psychological Association. “Evidence-based practices for childhood Grief and Trauma.” Apa.org, 2022, http://www.apa.org/monitor/2022/10/evidence-based-practices-grief.
D’Alton, Shannon V., et al. “The Bereavement Experiences of Children Following Sibling Death: An Integrative Review.” Journal of Pediatric Nursing, vol. 66, June 2022, pp. E82–E99, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pedn.2022.05.006.
Flesner, Jodi M. “Alone in Our Grief:” Exploring How Surviving Siblings Make Meaning after the Death of a Brother or Sister . 5 Dec. 2015. University of Missouri.
Fujita, Ayaka, et al. “A Systematic Review of Grief Experiences of Children Who Have Lost a Sibling.” Journal of Palliative Medicine, 21 Feb. 2025, https://doi.org/10.1089/jpm.2024.0418. Accessed 27 Feb. 2025.
Gilvin, Michael D. A Qualitative Look at How Sibling Bereavement from Unnatural Causes of Death Affects Surviving Siblings. Nov. 2018. Walden University, scholarworks.waldenu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=5621&context=dissertations. Accessed Mar. 2025.
Heal Grief . “Grieving the Death of a Sibling Is One of the Most Neglected Types of Grief.” Heal Grief, 2019, healgrief.org/grieving-the-death-of-a-sibling/. Accessed Apr. 2025.
Howard Sharp, Katianne M., et al. “Grief and Growth in Bereaved Siblings: Interactions between Different Sources of Social Support.” School Psychology Quarterly, vol. 33, no. 3, Sept. 2018, pp. 363–371, https://doi.org/10.1037/spq0000253.
Schonfeld, David J, et al. “Supporting the Grieving Child and Family: Clinical Report.” Pediatrics, vol. 154, no. 1, 17 June 2024, https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2024-067212.
Siblings Canada. “Adult Sibling Bereavement.” Canadiancaregiving.org/Siblingscanada, 2024, canadiancaregiving.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Adult-Sibling-Bereavement.pdf. Accessed Mar. 2025.
Stocker, Clare M., et al. “Sibling Relationships in Older Adulthood: Links with Loneliness and Well-Being.” Journal of Family Psychology, vol. 34, no. 2, 2020, pp. 175–185, https://doi.org/10.1037/fam0000586.
The Loss Foundation. “10 Ways to Practice Self Care in Grief.” The Loss Foundation, 14 Dec. 2023, thelossfoundation.org/10-ways-to-practice-self-care-in-grief/. Accessed Mar. 2025.
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network. Sibling Death and Childhood Traumatic Grief: Introduction to Childhood Grief Information for Families. 3 July 2009. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, http://www.nctsn.org/sites/default/files/resources/sibling_death_and_childhood_traumatic_grief_families.pdf. Accessed Mar. 2025.