Humans are social creatures. We thrive on connection, and friendships form a cornerstone of our well-being. Friends offer support systems, a sense of belonging, and help reduce stress. Traditionally, friendships blossomed through face-to-face interactions, shared experiences, and physical proximity. However, the digital age has brought with it a new way of belonging and engaging: online friendships. These are relationships formed and maintained primarily through online platforms, where individuals may never meet in person. While these friendships can offer benefits like increased social support and reduced loneliness for certain individuals, they also raise concerns about their potential impact on mental well-being and the risk of problematic internet use.
With the rise of social media and the ever-increasing use of the internet, particularly among younger generations – a study done by Pew Research Center found that nearly half of US teens aged 13-17 years use the internet “almost constantly” – online friendships have become increasingly prevalent. This shift towards online socializing was further accelerated by the COVID-19 pandemic, where online friendships played a crucial role in combating loneliness and isolation during lockdowns. Online and face-to-face friendships share similarities in terms of their functions and the psychological processes involved. According to research conducted by Yau and Reich (2018), online friendships maintain the essential characteristics of in-person friendships, including a sense of belonging, open communication, mutual emotional support, and conflict resolution. However, online communication often lacks the nonverbal cues present in face-to-face interactions, which can lead to misunderstandings and misinterpretations.
The Appeal of Online Connection
For many, the digital world offers a unique sense of freedom and accessibility when it comes to forming friendships. Online friendships can be particularly beneficial for individuals who face challenges forming more conventional relationships offline. For example, adolescents with high levels of social anxiety may find it easier to connect with others online, where they have more control over their self-presentation and can avoid potentially stressful face-to-face interactions. In a study done by Shabang et al. (2022), it was found that individuals who prefer online friendships over face-to-face friendships tend to have stronger fears related to intimacy and could feel more vulnerable when connecting with others. The online environment can provide a sense of safety and predictability, and as communication often occurs asynchronously, individuals are allowed to engage at their own pace, communicating intentionally, and to build connections without the pressures of face-to-face interaction.
Furthermore, online friendships transcend geographical limitations and time constraints. This is especially valuable for individuals with busy schedules, disabilities, or those living in remote areas, enabling them to connect with like-minded people across the globe. Online platforms also foster communities centered around shared interests, hobbies, or identities, providing a sense of belonging and acceptance. In a systematic review by Best et al. (2014) on how online technology affects teenagers’ mental health, it was found that using online technologies can boost self-esteem, increase feelings of social support, and provide safe spaces for self-expression. In this regard, marginalized individuals and those who feel isolated offline, might find it easier to establish a sense of community and support when engaging with peers online.
The Potential Downside of Digital Friendships
While online friendships offer many benefits, it’s important to be aware of their potential pitfalls. A quite common assumption is that increased internet use will lead to reduced life satisfaction. However, while research indicates that such a connection exists, it is often reported to be small or negligible (Milosevic et al., 2021; Orben et al., 2019). It is important to note that while the research does not find a strong relationship between internet use and life satisfaction, the study of such relationships is still in its infancy, and more research is needed in order to fully understand how internet use, screen time and different ways of engaging online can affect both youth and adults alike.
Another significant concern is the rise of echo chambers and polarization. Online platforms, with their opaque algorithms and filter bubbles, often create environments where individuals are primarily exposed to information and perspectives that align with their own (Pariser, 2011). This can lead to groupthink, where dissenting opinions are suppressed, and individuals become more entrenched in their beliefs, less open to alternative viewpoints, and potentially more anxious and isolated.
The algorithms that drive content curation can also limit exposure to the diverse spectrum of societal views and norms, potentially leading to a skewed perception of reality. In fact, even when being exposed to opposing political views on social media, Bail et al. (2018) found that it tended to increase political polarization rather than facilitating understanding between people of different worldviews.
Furthermore, the online world presents risks such as cyberbullying, which can cause significant emotional distress. Unlike face-to-face bullying, cyberbullying follows the victim everywhere, 24/7. The anonymity of the internet can make it easy to pick on others, and when done on public online platforms it can further amplify the damage to self-esteem. This constant stress can contribute to both anxiety and depression.
Other concerns that are somewhat unique to socializing online are the two somewhat related but different topics of catfishing and grooming. Catfishing refers to the act of creating fake online identities, and engaging with others under these false premises. Grooming happens when an online predator targets trusting children and teens with the intention to manipulate and exploit, either by making them engage sexually, share personal information, or pay money.
Finding Balance: Healthy Online Interactions
Navigating the digital landscape requires mindful engagement. It’s crucial to be aware of the time spent online and cultivate a balance between online and offline interactions. Developing critical thinking skills and practicing healthy skepticism are essential for countering misinformation and the effects of echo chambers. Actively seeking out diverse perspectives and engaging in respectful dialogue with people holding different viewpoints can broaden understanding and combat polarization.
Setting boundaries is equally important. This includes prioritizing online safety, utilizing privacy settings, and practicing responsible sharing. Learning to recognize warning signs in online relationships is crucial to avoid potentially harmful situations.
Conclusion
Online friendships offer valuable connections and support, especially in an increasingly digital world. However, they are best viewed as a supplement to, not a replacement for, face-to-face relationships. While the online world offers convenience and accessibility, it’s essential to be mindful of its potential pitfalls and prioritize online safety and well-being.
If you are finding it difficult to navigate the complexities of online friendships, or if you are experiencing any related mental health concerns, remember that seeking professional support can be invaluable. At The Other Clinic, we offer guidance and support to help you build healthy relationships and enhance your overall well-being.
To meet with a professional psychologist or counsellor, call The Other Clinic at 8809 0659 or email us hello@theotherclinic.sg.
Sources:
Bail, C. A., Argyle, L. P., Brown, T. W., Bumpus, J. P., Chen, H., Hunzaker, M. B. F., Lee, J., Mann, M., Merhout, F., & Volfovsky, A. (2018). Exposure to opposing views on social media can increase political polarization. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 115(37), 9216–9221. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1804840115
Best, P., Manktelow, R., & Taylor, B. (2014). Online communication, social media and adolescent wellbeing: A systematic narrative review. Children and Youth Services Review, 41, 27–36. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2014.03.001
Milosevic, T., Kuldas, S., Sargioti, A., Laffan, D. A., & O’Higgins Norman, J. (2021). Children’s Internet Use, Self-Reported Life Satisfaction, and Parental Mediation in Europe: An Analysis of the EU Kids Online Dataset. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 698176. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.698176
Orben, A., Dienlin, T., & Przybylski, A. K. (2019). Social media’s enduring effect on adolescent life satisfaction. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 116(21), 10226–10228. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1902058116
Pariser, E. (2011). The filter bubble: What the Internet is hiding from you (1. publ). Viking.
Pew Research Center. (2023). Teens, Social Media and Technology 2023. https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2023/12/11/teens-social-media-and-technology-2023/
Shabahang, R., Aruguete, M. S., Shim, H., & Chirani, B. M. (2022). Preference of Online Friends Over Face-To-Face Friends: Effect of Interpersonal Fears on Online Relationship Building Preference. Interpersona: An International Journal on Personal Relationships, 16(1), 120–135. https://doi.org/10.5964/ijpr.6711
Yau, J. C., & Reich, S. M. (2018). Are the Qualities of Adolescents’ Offline Friendships Present in Digital Interactions? Adolescent Research Review, 3(3), 339–355. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40894-017-0059-y